Meeting Notes for...
Invocation by Alice Peeples
Salute to the flag by Bonnie Boyle
Visitors included Leon Titus from Lakewood Rotary and Cindi Anderson from South Hill Rotary, plus Karen George accompanying Bill Harrison
Future Programs: Come next week, April 8, to hear Dr. Thomas Dowd, a psychologist practicing in Lakewood, who will be telling us about the benefits of "mindfulness meditation".  And on April 15, we will have a presentation from Neena Viel, who works as a recruiter for Big Brothers and Big Sisters.  But then remember, no meeting on April 22, because we'll all be out delivering roses. 
Attendance: No numbers to report today, but on a separate note Bonnie has sent emails out to several Rotarians who volunteer to be Greeters.  Response has been slow.  Please let her know when you can serve.
Sunshine Report: Karen Fengler-Nichols informed us that Bob Lawrence is back home recovering from his second knee replacement; hopefully, that will be his last one, since as far as we know he does not have any more knees to work on.  Ellie Carr’s grandmother is back home from the hospital.
Cindi Anderson from South Hill Rotary is selling raffle tickets for $50 with the top prize $9,000 and 4 other winners for $250.  Kickoff event April 9 at Pioneer Park.
Two Truths And A Lie.  After a long wait, and on April Fool's Day no less, Heidi Wachter finally presented the following:  (1) She received a varsity letter in college for field hockey; (2) she attended college on a half swimming scholarship; (3) she was part of the dance squad that performed at basketball games.  The half swimming scholarship was a lie, which we all should have realized since "half swimming" is not really a sport.  I mean, can you imagine what the participants would do?  Would they use a half-pool? 
Fun & Fines:
  • Leon Titus $2 for no pin
  • Randy Black $5 for not signing in, or rather signing in as Alan, and then whining about it.
  • Helen McGovern Pilant made a skiing trip to Whistler, fell on the second day and tore a tendon in her hand as well as 3 finger nails.  $2 with sympathy for upcoming surgery to repair tendon
  • Sue Potter $2 for ratting on Helen
  • Cindi Anderson $2 as a visiting Rotarian
  • John Munn $5 for starting his 5th year at Lakewood Playhouse and press in the Subtimes
  • Sheri Hodson $5 for her son’s success in robotic completion and going to regional finals, but the $5 is hopefully a down payment on bigger fines from subsequent levels at which the team will be competing
  • Ken Sharp $100 for the happy addition of a granddaughter, Elizabeth, born 3 weeks ago.  $50 to Paul Harris for missing so many meetings recently
  • Fred Willis $100 for buying Ingrid a new Ford Focus Hybrid
  • Sydna Koontz $2 for being General Harrison’s new neighbor
  • Jeannie Hill successfully bid $5 for someone’s sunglasses left at the sign-in table
At the conclusion of today's Fun and Fines segment, Ed Trobaugh announced that he had been asked by the President Elect to step down as Finemaster so this would be his last meeting serving in that capacity. 
Today's Program: President Elect Joyce Loveday updated us on topics presented at the latest President Elect Training Seminar (PETS), and at the District Leadership Training Assembly (DLTA).  Key points were about how to attract and retain new members, which is a necessity for every club just to keep pace.  Our club should have a goal of growing our membership, especially with younger members.
Key points about attracting people to Rotary are to focus on the local club itself, more than the worldwide organization, and to be flexible.  New members are more attracted to the idea of meeting with fellow professionals and engaging in service locally.  International service is important, but it is not the point which attracts people to join. 
Raffle: Sue Potter held the winning ticket, but it was on behalf of Ken Sharp who had to leave early.  No matter; she drew a 3 of diamonds, so the pot grows.
Wisdom: Here are a few pearls from the late great Phyllis Diller - -
  •  Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age. As your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
  •  Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
  •  Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is the like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
  •  A smile is a curve that sets everything straight. 
  •  The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
  •  Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: Eat out.
  •  A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.
  •  I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.
  •  Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
  •  Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off.
  •  Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
  •  We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next eighteen years telling them to sit down and shut up.
  •  Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.
  •  You know you're old if your walker has an airbag.
  •  I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing.
  •  What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
  •  The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally put gin in the steam iron.
  •  I've been asked to say a couple of words about my husband, Fang. How about short and cheap?
  •  Old age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.
  •  My photographs don't do me justice - they just look like me.
  •  There's so little money in my bank account, my scenic checks show a ghetto.
  •  My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
  •  Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
  •  I asked the waiter, 'Is this milk fresh?' He said, 'Lady, three hours ago it was grass.'
  •  The reason the golf pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.
  •  You know you're old if they have discontinued your blood type.
Oh, and finally, that point about Ed Trobaugh stepping down as Finemaster:  APRIL FOOLS!!